Last night we decided to go to the Portabello Yacht Club in Downtown Disney for dinner.
Here’s the abridged review — save your money. We had a great appetizer (Arancini, but to dumb it down for the tourist crowd it was called mozzarella rice balls) I had a nice bowl of house made Italian Wedding soup and Tyler had a nicely cooked T-Bone. They served a roasted head of garlic with the bread which was a delightful but ruined by really bad bread. Tyler’s T-Bone was served over raw spinach with slices of raw garlic. I think it was supposed to be wilted spinach and they decided the heat of the steak wilt it; but it should have been either cooked or raw — it was in weird middle ground and either way the large slices of raw garlic were unpalatable. The garlic mashed potatoes were over salted and dry. The spaghetti Bolognese was terrible. An Italian restaurant ought to season the pasta water. Price tag for 3 $200.00
But the review isn’t even what prompted me to write. In one meal I witnesses so much inconsideration towards fellow diners I was truly stunned. We go out to eat not because we can’t cook but because we want a pleasant experience. In a room of 200 people, one oaf can ruin the atmosphere for everyone. The top 4 events occurred during last night’s dinner and are listed in order. The others are highlights from the past — inconsideration all stars if you will.
1) You’ll Never be as Important as Me. When we arrived there was quite a line to check into the restaurant. After standing in this line for 15 – 20 minutes a man comes charging around dives in front of my husband (who was next to speak to the hostess) and says [I'm not leaving words out this is how he spoke] “Yeah, 8:00 reservations — we’re here early I expect you’ll get us in” She explains that they are busy and running a wait already but she’ll try. He reminds her that he has a baby with him (so his decision to take the baby out late has become her problem). They accommodate him and seat him and his family. It’s not 2 minutes and he’s up rudely complaining again — and then again. All of this loudly. All of this bringing down the fun factor for everyone because now the staff is stressed and we’re listening to the guy who’s either permanently angry or taking out his bad day by dressing down the staff as if they aren’t deserving of common courtesy. (he lacked a volume control, so listening to him was compulsory for anyone with ears)
Rude Guy from New York — You get a double fail — you were a jerk, and I’m pretty sure you are teaching your kid to be one.
2) Romper Room. After a roughly one hour wait for our table (which by the way we expected and didn’t mind at all) we were seated next to a “delightful” family that must live in a bubble. I made this assumption because they had no idea other people were in the restaurant. Their two children (roughly 9 and 10) were up and down from their seats running around nearly knocking down a server twice that I saw. They were using their outside voices to whine and fight. Every time the boy looked at the girl she would whine in that little girl tone that can split your head “NOOOOOOOO” Followed by “MOMMMYYY” and then DaaaaaaDDDDD” Then they decided to mess up dad’s hair and take photos — but they needed to fight over how to mess it up.
Before anyone sends me hate mail — I’d like to set the stage, we started dinner at 8:30, a nice adult hour. I support taking kids to restaurants but they should behave like they are in a restaurant, not a playground. Part of teaching them to grow up is teaching them that there is at time and a place for everything — but everything is not acceptable everywhere.
3) The Freight Train. Arguments about personal liberties aside, smoking is illegal in restaurants. Smoking is so despised by many people that it’s illegal on outdoor patios. You may not like this rule, but it is a rule. The reason that law is in place it to enforce courtesy. Getting up and walking to the other side of the rail to smoke like a freight train is not abiding by the spirit of the rule or being considerate. Circumventing the rules by hanging on the railing and smoking 2 cigarettes before you order, two before your entree comes and then I lost count of how many more is a bit excessive. Even better is throwing the butt on the ground because someone will come clean it. Let’s say I walked up to their table farted like a truck driver and dropped a candy wrapper every 4 minutes throughout the meal. I’m pretty sure that I’d get asked to leave. At least I hope so.
Smokers — even if we are outside please don’t stand right by the tables. Maybe wear a patch for dinner — then you don’t have to leave your companions or impact anyone else’s experience and don’t drop your butts. They are litter.
4) The Industry Mogul. I know you are important. I know your job is important. I know there’s lots of money on the line and if you don’t take the call at 8:00 on a Friday night the entire industry could collapse. I also know cell phones have digital technology. It’s completely possible to speak in your normal voice on a cell phone and be heard around the world. We’ve come a long way from tin cans and string. If you think I’m crazy, it’s also possible to excuse yourself from the table.
Business hours are for business, most of us want to relax at dinner please don’t make that impossible.
5) The Patient. Seriously — medical care and health are huge issues in life but I don’t think the table is the place to go through the details of your medical care.
6) Me Amore! You are young. You are in love. You have a hotel room, car or house for making out. Keep your tongue in your mouth when you are in a restaurant.
7) The Royal Family. You are paying for a meal. You should enjoy that meal, the server should take every reasonable step to make sure you do. However your server isn’t an indentured servant from the 18th century. Your server has the same basic life plan as you — provide fro themselves and their family. And feelings. They should be spoken to with courtesy and respect — the same way you would want someone to treat your daughter when she works her way through college waiting tables.   You should understand that you aren’t their only table. When you order them around like animals and make their job miserable — you make them miserable and usually this expands to all the other diners in the area. It’s a total downer to hear someone be mean.
The Food Critic. This one is dependent on the restaurant you are at. But I think that Top Chef and Hell’s Kitchen have created a lot of arm chair food critics. Now people who probably can’t even bake a cake with a mix are loudly complaining about unbalanced seasoning and texture. Complainers bring the mood down for everyone. By all means if something is really wrong, discretely send it back. If it’s different than you expected but not improperly prepared — deal. But never throw a fit like a 19 year old princess bride who’s orchids are medium purple vs. dark purple.
9) I’m allergic to food. When Harry met Sally was funny. The diner scene was funny. Walking into a fully booked restaurant in the middle of service and announcing you are a celiac vegan and you only like to eat orange foods is not fair or funny. This does not mean you can’t go out. But have a heart. Most restaurants have menu’s online and they want to create a pleasant experience for everyone — including special dietary requests. Call ahead, talk to the chef, that way he can come up with something that will make you happy and you won’t throw service off for the rest of the restaurant.
10) Captain Caveman. Many of us have to work to remember which plate is our bread plate. When confronted with 6 – 8 pieces of cutlery and3 -4 glasses dinner can be very confusing. That’s natural. In a restaurant, I try to keep my eyes at my table.  But some people’s behavior is so shocking that you can’t ignore them. I once saw a woman eat an entire salad with dressing — with her fingers. No, I was not at McDonald’s or a high school cafeteria — I was in a first date kind of place. She was in fact on a first date with my friend (and as it turned out; last date).
Captain Caveman is the guy who doesn’t care which utensil he’s supposed to use at any given course — because he’ll be using his hands more than a fork or knife. He chews with his mouth wide open and insists on talking so that bits of food fly out of his mouth almost as fast as he is shoveling in the enormous hunks. He slurps, he wipes his face with the back of his hand, not a napkin. You’d be tempted to think he was raised by wolves, but then you realize …. wolves have better manners.
What’s the most stunning display of inconsideration you’ve ever seen in a restaurant?
Hilarious!
I have seen many of these behaviors while dining out but to see all in one sitting is quite an accomplishment!
Cheers!
Awesome post enjoyed this very much
Amen and amen and amen!
Every one of your observations are just sooo obvious that you would think people would get it, but sadly, many do not! as the mother of a young child, i completely agree with your take on kids in restaurants- 8:30 is late enough that if they are there they need to behave apropos to the environment, but sometimes isn’t it just easier for everyone (parents included) to leave them at home so you can really enjoy your bottle of wine? great post…
Thanks Linda! I do think that restaurants should be open to kids — otherwise they’ll never know how they should behave in one and you have a 17 year old who doesn’t know what to do with a napkin.
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LOVE this post! I have seen so many of these things. I wrote a similar list while flying from Boston to San Francisco a few months ago.
Poor customers, poor service, and less than adequate food are the reasons I primarily cook our meals or we get take-out on Saturdays. We rarely go out any more and when we do, we either make reservations or call ahead to see if we can be put on a waiting list. Restaurants that at least won’t do that much, don’t get our business.
Thanks for sharing your horrible experiences. LOL
Love this post! I agree with all of your opinions– what is it with people and bad restaurant behavior these days?? Reason enough for me to cook at home where I can enjoy peace, quiet and good company!
LOL… had to laugh at the typical Disney price tag: averaging fifty bucks a head for a barely-adequate meal served among ill-behaved vacationers who have been deluded into thinking they are the center of the universe by theme park employees who have it drilled into their heads every second of every day that they must make the experience “magical” OR ELSE. Sigh… classic Florida!
Yeah — there are some good places at Disney. Bistro de Paris for example in Epcot. None of that behavior. California Grille is good, Jiko at Animal Kingdom Lodge. We enjoy the Rose and Crown in Epcot but it is a theme park environment for sure.
This blog post should be in every menu. It’s a great post and had me laughing out loud.
What a great blog!
And I love it’s format as well.
Thanks for the laughs this Monday morning. I needed them.
Leah
Flying exposes you to an entirely new world of inconsideration! Thanks for stopping by!
I hear you! I work at home though so sometimes it’s nice just to get out of the house (or at least I think it will be until we get there)
Thanks for stopping by, glad I made you laugh!
AMEN to that! Thanks for writing this – so honest and real.
Super post, Need to mark it on Digg
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